The stories have circulated for years.  In Washington DC, you can only have sex in the missionary position.  Connecticut law prevents “private sexual behavior between consenting adults.”  We always scoff and think of these things as the stuff of fantasy.

But they are so very real.  They might not be enforced, but they are real.

That’s one of the reasons why Personhood initiatives usually fail: their enforcement is laughable.  “I’m sorry, ma’am.  You used the pill and had sex in the same time period.  I’ll have to charge you with murder.”

Such a thing is silly and beyond all rational thought.  Despite this, such things have gone into effect in the past if only because someone believed it should happen and they pursued it with puritanical zealotry.  Someone decided this is the right way, which means this is the only way.

Here’s a sex scene from Rick Santorum’s fantasy world The Handmaid’s Tale:

This looks silly.  For those who haven’t read the book, I assure you, it’s uncomfortable to watch.

What’s going on here is Commander Fred is trying to have a child with his wife.  His wife is wearing blue.  Offred, the handmaid, is wearing red and is holding hands with Commander Fred’s wife in a twisted form of association.  Fred is legally having sex with his wife; he’s actually having sex with Offred, who will get pregnant, have a baby, and go away.

Sounds crazy, right?  I know, but this is the kind of thing that happens when we start regulating sex.

This is the sort of thing that happens when a council like the following starts making decisions and recommendations about women’s health:

Where does it stop?  At what point do people with unlimited power and puritanical notions have to stop?  Will they start deciding who is healthy based on their likelihood for a heart attack?  Will they start pushing for tomorrow to be a world of genetic refinement and purity?

They might be thinking aboutGattaca and feel it is splendid and beautiful with its limitless sterility and genetic checks around every corner.  Want to get to work?  Take a blood test and, if we like the results, we’ll let you in.  Want a job?  Just pee in a cup and, if we like the results, you’re hired.  Want a date?  Steal his hair and take it to a booth and they’ll give you a printout of his genome, just so you’ll feel satisfied it’s exactly what you want.

In Vitamin F, that’s what the world has become.

Sex isn’t strictly monitored, but anything resulting in reproduction is.  You have a choice though.  You can pick in vitro, direct injection from pre-approved sperm, fertilization by transformed sperm…  There are plenty of choices, so long as everything is documented and approved by a state representative and the Office of Genetic Security.

Plus, you can have your kid wherever you want!  Just make sure the moment you leave any designated sanctuary, the baby has a full battery of genetic tests to determine genetic diversity rates.  Also, make sure you register any significant conditions like virulent diseases, organ viability, and gender with the Office of Genetic Security as well.

We’re rebuilding society after all.  Everything has to be weighed, measured, and cataloged at every significant step, even if that means we have to put an agent in the room with you to observe what’s going on.

It’s for the public good, so you don’t need your privacy.

Vitamin F will be released on July 12 for Nook and Kindle.